Last weekend I went to the grocery store to do my grocery shopping for the next two weeks. I drive past a couple of other grocery stores because the one I like is newer and nicer. On this particular Sunday morning, it was also very crowded. While I’m convinced that grocery stores are remodeling stores to make the aisles JUST wide enough for two carts to fit, and then adding those cardboard displays into the aisles, and most people don’t pull over far enough when they are stopping to look for something, and the stores are making it more and more uncomfortable and inconvenient to shop in person so that we will take advantage of their online shopping and pickup or delivery, I still like to actually go into the store. I need to read labels because of my husband’s celiac sprue and going in person makes that process much easier

So the last time I went it was unusually crowded. Every aisle saw me waiting for people to move forward so I could move either around them or behind them if they continued moving. I was annoyed at the displays. I was annoyed at the people not moving over. I was annoyed at the store’s oversized carts that were in the middle of the aisles while they were shopping for online buyers. By the time I left the store, I was highly annoyed.

So I walked to my car, put my purse and drink in the front seat, and walked to the back to start loading the groceries. Because my key was in the front of the car, the back of the car would not open. Annoyed! So I had to go grab my purse, open the back, and put the purse back up front. I got the groceries loaded and put the cart away (which I ALWAYS do!) and got in my car to leave.

That’s when it struck me. Going to the grocery store had turned me into a grump! So I stopped to think about all the things going to the grocery store actually meant. It means I have money to shop for the groceries I need (and want) for the next two weeks. It means that we will be eating very well for the next two weeks. It means that I am lucky enough to have a car to drive myself to the store and legs that work well enough to get me around the store. It means there are fresh fruits and vegetables available for me. It means I can make choices in which brand of whatever I want to buy.

So going to the grocery store is actually a privilege and something to be very grateful for. It completely changed my mood and I’m glad that I caught it in time because it was a long ride home to keep amping up my grumps. Instead, I was able to have a nice ride home with the windows partially down on a beautiful Arizona “fall” day and remember how much I have to be grateful for.

Because of my commute, I listen to a lot of podcasts. A LOT. Most of what I listen to are leadership and self-improvement podcasts. I recently heard something reminding me that I had purchased a gratitude journal that I hadn’t started using yet. The idea is to–every day–list five things you’re grateful for and ten dreams (written in present tense as if you already made them happen), and then one goal you will work on achieving first. And so I started.

Having to write down five things you’re grateful for every day can really take some effort. As you keep doing it, the best part is that you start looking for things to include each day which really helps me to look at every situation differently. In fact, recently I decided to be nice to others. I’m all for smiling at the security guard and the cleaning people I see every day, but I’m not good at striking up conversations with those people. This time, I specifically went out of my way when I saw the guy cleaning the planters outside (which is one of his tasks every morning) to thank him for doing such a good job. As I continued on my way, I heard him saying something behind me, but didn’t catch exactly what he said. I’m hopeful that it made the rest of his day better even if he said (as I may have heard) that he was just doing his job. Everyone working is “just doing their job,” but if they are doing that job well, with a smile on their face and a warm “good morning” every day, that deserves to be acknowledged.

Another day, I sent emails to our attorneys who always enter their timesheets on time. I’m in charge of sending out “reminder” emails. Several times. Every. Single. Month. So I get frustrated when people don’t do what I say and the people who follow directions have a special place in my heart. I decided to just send them a “thank you for getting your time in on time” email. Most of them responded thanking me for thanking them. It took me just a couple of minutes, but I hope it made a difference.

This week, take a minute to thank someone for doing what they do. It will probably make their day–and yours too!

I often tell people that I’ve been lucky in my career, lucky in love, lucky with how awesome my children and grandchildren are, and lucky in life generally. The last time I was talking to someone about my job and said that I had been really lucky, I stopped myself. While I have sometimes been lucky to be in the right place at the right time, I have worked my ass off to get where I am in my career. Luck? Nope. Hard work, dedication, respect, self-improvement, learning constantly–those are the things that have put me where I am in my career. Well, maybe now that I think about it I was lucky that I was fired from a job I held for 15 years and ended up floundering a bit until I took a temporary job at an international law firm in the word processing department, which turned into being a floater secretary, which turned into ending up at my female attorney’s desk when her secretary had extended jury duty and then was promoted to another position, leaving me assigned to her and working in a permanent position at the law firm. Maybe I was lucky that she was patient enough to teach me what I needed to know about litigation since I had spent the first 15 years of my career doing probate, estate planning, and corporate law. Maybe I was lucky that our personalities mesh so that we work well together. Maybe I was lucky that I accepted a huge cut in my salary just to work full time and learn a new specialty. Maybe I was lucky to love the thrill of litigation. Maybe I was lucky that she went to bat for me to get my salary up to where it should be. Maybe I was lucky that when she moved to new law firms, she asked me to go with her. And that could be where luck ends. From there, I worked hard to learn all I could about litigation, court filings, etc. so that I could do a good job. I worked hard to figure out my boss’s idiosyncrasies so that we could continue to work better together (and now it is 23 years later!). I worked hard to do the best job I could do with attorneys whom I respect and who respect me back and to continue learning and improving every day. I worked hard to be the best legal support professional I could be, including going to night school to get a paralegal degree, taking and passing several legal certification exams, continuing to attend CLE courses to keep learning ways to help me and my firm, joining professional associations (and being active) so that I could make valuable connections in the legal community, and showing up every day and busting my butt to do a good job.

Lucky in love? Maybe it was lucky that I went on my very first date with a boy from church and we double dated with an even cuter boy and his date. Maybe it was lucky that the cute boy actually liked me and eventually asked me out. Maybe it was lucky that we didn’t go to the same high school since our academic careers were very different. But, no, it wasn’t luck that has kept us together for 44 years–it is hard work and dedication to our marriage. It is ignoring the small annoyances and being thankful for the small things he does right. It is loving every single day–whether that means a quick peck when he comes home, cooking dinner every night (gluten free mind you!), putting dishes away, loading the dishwasher, washing the windshield of my car, checking tire pressures, whatever thing needs to be done for one person that the other person does.

Lucky with how my children and grandchildren are turning out? Maybe it was lucky that I didn’t go to jail for child abuse when my children were teenagers. Maybe it was lucky that we didn’t have much money, so I learned to give them time once in a while instead of things. Maybe it was lucky that my husband worked from home when they were in school. But, no, I worked hard to show my children that I loved them–no matter what. I worked hard to take a day off of work around their birthday to spend an entire day focused on them and doing things they were interested in (and have continued that tradition with my grandchildren). I worked hard to keep holiday traditions alive in our family including Santa footprints and timing multiple extended family celebrations.

So have I been lucky in life? Absolutely! But I’ve worked hard for what I have as well, it hasn’t been handed to me. Except by my husband–I’ve been pretty lucky there. But this life is hard work if you want it to be a good one. As they say, life is not a spectator sport. It is something to get up off the couch and enjoy. Do things that scare you. Do things that stretch you. Do the things that those you love want to do. Then, just maybe, you’ll be as lucky as I am.