Monthly Archives: May 2017

Living Life FOMO

LivingLifeFOMOI just returned from an amazing vacation. One of the lessons learned is that I have spent the majority of my life living FOMO. For anyone who may not know what that means, it is Fear Of Missing Out. I found that I was pushing myself probably harder than I should have by walking farther, getting up earlier, staying up later, eating more, and just trying to keep up with everyone for fear of missing out on something. What could I have missed out on? Who knows? But I didn’t miss out on anything because I fully participated in everything.

This thought came to me as I walked about a mile to the Vienna State Opera House while some of the others took the train. Honestly, I think I was afraid of feeling weak, of missing out on conversations (like those on the train didn’t have a conversation – duh!), and mostly of appearing old (uh, hello, I’m old!).

This got me thinking about the rest of my life and how often I have done things FOMO. More often than not, it was something I would not have done at all except that friends were doing it and it ended up being a great experience. FOMO is the reason I took the NALS and NALA certification exams, it is the reason I’ve attended most of the events I’ve attended, it is the reason I served as an officer and on committees, it is the reason I have traveled to conferences and vacations, it is the reason I have not one, but two (so far) blogs, it is why I’m involved in two direct sales companies, it is, quite simply, why my life has been so amazing and why I’m not currently a hermit with no friends, one email address, complaining about body aches and pains, and living a completely boring life.

I’ve spent the whole of my life trying to fit in and be liked. While I still like people to like me, that isn’t as important as fitting in. I guess I would rather melt into the crowd than be noticed. I know from conversations with others that apparently that theory doesn’t work well and that lots of people notice me and know who I am. I always think that if I’m there and quiet, people might see me, but no one really knows who I am. But when you are active, helpful, and show up to things, apparently people pay attention. It’s really dumb of me to even think that because what do I do at events? Stand back, watch, listen, and figure out who people are. Why would I expect that others wouldn’t do the same?

When I initially thought about this topic, I expected it to be negative. I expected to showcase the things I’d done in life because I was afraid of missing out and the things I’d missed out on because I was more scared than I was fearful of missing out. When I actually sat down to write, I discovered that I really didn’t miss anything because I actually took part in lots of things I wouldn’t have otherwise. I got out of my comfort zone and did things I didn’t think I wanted or was ready to do, but that were really good for me.

So to all my friends and family who used my FOMO (whether you knew it or not) to get me to participate in something, thank you! I think from here on out I will embrace my FOMO and continue to live the good life.

Bitch and Complain or Preach and Sustain

Have you ever listened to yourself in a conversation? Are you positive sounding? If everything that comes out of your mouth is a negative thought, how do you think that makes you feel? And then how do you come off to others? 

I know there are plenty of times that I complain about things, but I’m actually trying to be better about catching myself and changing my words. If you are putting negative energy into your world, what do you think you are getting back? You guessed it! You’re getting back negative energy. Do you want that in your life? Or do you want people around you to feel that energy and try to change it for you? Is that really fair to them? You are the only one in charge of you. 

I’ve known energy vampires throughout my life. Those are the people who suck the energy out of you while you’re trying to help them be less negative to keep your energy positive. Those people are physically and emotionally draining. They truly suck all of your energy out of you. And that leaves no positive energy for you. People with no positive energy are true Negative Nellies.

I’ve spent time with people who were so negative, their energy completely enveloped me, making me believe all of the negative crap they were saying. I then have to make the decision to either get sucked into all that negativity or change the subject (and my outlook) into something much more positive.

The next time you are in a group of people, just listen to the conversation around you. Do you have people at the airport describing in great detail the problems they had getting to the airport, checking bags, making connections, or boarding? What does that do to you? Does it make you worry about the rest of your trip and what things could go wrong? What about the people at work complaining (constantly) about the boss? Does that make you start thinking that those things are true and making you focus on every little thing that goes wrong but may not even affect you? Just stop! When you start hearing those things and you’re not involved in the conversation, turn your ears off. Quit listening to the negativity. If you are part of the conversation, redirect it. Start talking about something else and ask questions of others in the conversation to get them talking about something else. Start making other people feel positive about their own life. 

Life is far too short to be mired in negativity. Don’t participate in it and don’t condone it. Think about good things going on in your life and work to perpetuate them. Preach positivity. Lift people up. Positive thoughts multiply just the same way negative thoughts do, and I would much rather be surrounded by positive thoughts and positive people–and so I am! I’ve made that choice to make my life better. Shouldn’t you?