I have heard it said that people who procrastinate are perfectionists at heart. If they can’t do it perfectly right now, they will put it off until they have the time to do it perfectly. I consider myself the Queen of Procrastination and if  you had told me I was a perfectionist, I would have (and probably have) laughed in your face. At least until I really started thinking about it. I have lots of “projects” that I don’t ever start because I don’t have the time to do it “right.” So, I guess that theory is correct.

So how do we stop being perfectionists? How do we stop thinking we’re the only one who can do it right, the only one who knows how to do it, the only one who can do it perfectly?

In Rory Vaden’s book Procrastinate on Purpose, he talks about five permissions you need to give yourself in order to multiply your time. There were several (probably 5 if I’m perfectly honest) that spoke to me. But the one that hit me in the gut was when he talked about giving yourself the permission of Imperfect. Say what? And ruin my reputation? But here’s his point. If you don’t give yourself permission to be imperfect, you will have a “bunch of perfect useless stuff in your life but you are going to be burned out.” Hmmmm. Go on. He says “you’ll be the go-to guy at the office . . . but you’ll hate your job. You’ll throw the absolute best parties . . . but you’ll resent all your friends. Your underwear drawer will be folded neatly . . . but you’re going to be exhausted. All your work will be perfect . . . and you will be miserable!”

OK. I’m listening. The key to this is to train others to do what you do and then . . . LET THEM DO IT! When people do this successfully, Mr. Vaden says “They stopped carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and they invited some teammates to come with them along the way. They stopped saving the day all the time and empowered other people to also be the hero. They stopped trying to do it all themselves and instead they created other leaders.”

This, of course, didn’t happen overnight. And it didn’t happen “perfectly.” Mistakes were made along the way by those delegated to, but they learned and they fixed it. Then the next time, they did better.

The line that struck me was “They stopped saving the day all the time and empowered other people to also be the hero.” My favorite part of my job is saving the day. But by doing that I’m cheating other people out of their own job satisfaction. The feeling of a job well done, of saving the day for someone, of accomplishment, of being a hero. And that’s just not fair.

I still suck at delegating, but I’m working on it. I doubt I will ever get it “perfect,” but I will try to step back and let others step up into a more empowered role. We both deserve that!

How do you react when facing adversity? Does it feel like it never stops? That it’s just one horrible thing after another? Watch this great video and perhaps the next time you face a problem, you will decide that your reaction is entirely up to you–it isn’t anyone’s fault and no one else has control over how you show up and how you react. IT IS ALL YOU! So are  you potatoes, eggs, or coffee beans?

So I survived the Centennial Celebration (and turning 60!). What an absolutely amazing celebration. I told my friends it was the best birthday since I was able to get my ears pierced when I turned 16.

I was afraid that I had built the possibilities of the celebration up so much in my mind that I would be disappointed by the time it actually happened. Instead, it exceeded everything I had dreamed would happen. It. Was. Amazing.

My life motto is “Live Your Dash” (see https://60isthenew60blog.com/2016/08/20/the-big-day/ for an explanation of the motto) and I spent time doing just that.

The celebration started with a quick trip to Vegas for the Barbra Streisand concert. My husband let me take his brand new Corvette! I’ve seen Barbra once before, but have loved her since I was a teenager and she is always on my bucket list. This time, she started by singing “The Way We Were.” She was about, oh, five notes in when my eyes just started leaking. I didn’t mean to cry, I didn’t realize I was crying, it was just running down the side of my face. Her voice touched my heart!

Then it was back to reality for a about a week and a half (which I spent most of fighting a cold) and then I got to see Adele (the Phoenix concert she did before she got sick and cancelled the second one). She is now on my list of people to see every time she comes. She is a truly amazing talent.

Then it was off to the JW Marriott at Desert Ridge for an entire day–REALLY the entire day–in the lazy river. We enjoyed a couple of their drinks while floating around just relaxing while getting ready for our Centennial Celebration.

Our two out of town guests made it and then we were off. A quick stop at Rock Springs for lunch and pie (because you can’t go there and not have some of their famous pie!) and then a stop at the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Sedona to get our hearts in the right place and on to our Airbnb cabin in Sedona. It was beautiful and had a deck the entire length of the house. The birthday girls snagged the master bedroom (and apparently the most comfortable bed) but everyone had a place to sleep.

We shopped, we ate, we talked, we drank wine, we played games, and we laughed — a lot! THEN we went on the Pink Jeep Tour. As an Arizona native, this was something I had never done, even though they’ve been doing it almost as long as I’ve been alive. It was beautiful views, a fun driver, and a roller coaster ride in a jeep. There is nothing like the Sedona red rocks.

Then one of my friends entertained us with a wine tasting and Italian homemade dinner which was very informative and super delicious and then we ended with a rousing game of Yardzee (a yard version of Yahtzee).

It was then time to leave even though I didn’t want to. I didn’t want this celebration that we had been working on for months to be over. THIS was the perfect celebration. THIS was worth turning 60. THIS was unbelievable friendship in action. I am truly and honestly blessed. I have health, I have a job that I love, I have family I love with all my heart, I have things I never expected to have, and I’m lucky enough to have been blessed through this long life with amazing friends.

I have warned my friends that the 65 celebration just might be driving across the Western US visiting all the places where I can get a free senior meal! I figure by then I might be ready to admit how old I am to get the discount. But maybe not. We’ll just have to see.

Today I am 60 years old. It’s taken me a while to be able to say it – although I still cringe a little. Several years ago, I heard a quote I loved and decided to make it my life motto.  “Live your dash.” It means on your headstone is the date you were born and the date you die and there is the dash in between those dates. So I decided to work on living my dash. I am presently in a cabin in the woods with some of my best friends celebrating two of our birthdays that happen to total 100 so we are calling it the Centennial Celebration. It’s a plan that has been in the works for months. And it’s finally here.

I have spent a lot of time in the last few years living my dash. Making side trips at conferences, traveling to Europe, doing the things that are on my bucket list. My mission has been–basically– to kick my dash’s ass. That mission is continuing to be accomplished as we speak!

My goal is to somehow leave a legacy. Whether that is having someone tell me that I’ve taught them something or seeing someone I’ve mentored rise to a new positive place in their life or seeing the things I’ve worked so hard to contribute to be successful. I feel like I will have left a legacy.

What have I learned from this experience?

Surround yourself with people who lift you up. I would not have had the experiences I’ve had or the fun I’ve had without the friends who have been with me throughout my life.

Don’t worry about what others think about you. Be you. Your authentic self.

Do good. Helping others helps you. Volunteer, mentor, teach, lead. Find the way that works best for you to do good.

Love unconditionally. Every person is worthy of your love. Share it with them. You will end up the winner when you give your love unconditionally and receive love you don’t expect in return.

One of the songs that really touches me on this very topic is Beyonce’s “I was here.” Please, please check it out at – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i41qWJ6QjPI – and then go out and kick your own dash’s ass because I’m sure busy kicking my dash’s ass right now and it is amazing!

One thing that I’m not great at is remembering to take pictures. I love looking at pictures and I’m lucky enough to have friends that document most of our interactions but I’m bad at remembering to take pictures of other important family events.

When people give me gifts that include pictures, it means more to me than any amount of gift card. Pictures are something that you can’t recreate exactly. It is one thing that is irreplaceable.

With our phones that have great cameras that are with us almost constantly, it is crazy not to take pictures of important events. So whip that camera out and take pictures of everything. You can always delete the ones you don’t like (but be careful about deleting pictures that you think embarrass you because you can’t get them back) but you need to take the pictures to be able to make any kind of decision about them.

So go out, live a fabulous life, and document it with pictures. You and the people who love you will never regret it!

Do you have that friend that no matter what they do, it seems to be perfect? I think we all do. But as I’ve heard before, don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20. You have no idea what it took them to get there. You don’t know how many failures they’ve had before they got to their chapter 20. And the fact that they’ve had time to get to chapter 20 speaks volumes as well.

You are in a race with no one but yourself. Life is not a marathon (although it certainly does feel that way sometimes). It seems to be to be a series of sprints. Dating someone you think you can marry – a sprint. Getting engaged and planning the perfect wedding – a sprint. Settling into marriage for the long term – a sprint. The nine months it takes to grow a baby – a sprint. The birth and first year – a sprint. The next few years – a sprint. Interviewing and landing your dream job – a sprint. Staying focused and challenged enough to keep it – a sprint. Searching for and buying a house – a sprint. Keeping up with the maintenance and mortgage – a sprint. Deciding you’d rather live someplace else and starting over again – a sprint.

Every piece of our lives is a sprint, but the thing is, we really aren’t in a race–it’s not a competition. We are only trying to better ourselves. If you’re trying to keep up with the Joneses, you are in for a marathon for which you’ve had no training. Stick to the sprint at your own pace. You’ll get there, you can rest in between, and you’ll have a whole lot more fun doing it. 

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” ― William G.T. Shedd

I love quotations to motivate me and this is a great one. It reminds me to step out of my comfort zone. A comfort zone is a, well, very comfortable place to be. And it is a comfortable place to stay. It is known, it is safe, it is boring.

Yes, boring. Every once in a while, it is important to get out of your comfort zone and do something just a little bit uncomfortable. It could mean writing a blog post (you don’t have to start your own blog, there are lots of them out there and many of them may be willing to let you write a post or two–including me), it could mean running in a 5K, it could mean giving a presentation, it could mean ziplining for the first time. There are a million ways to get out of your comfort zone. It just takes that first step.

You may well be surprised at how rewarding it is to step outside of the comfort one. When you brain is working through it, it is unbelievably scary because our brains like to think about all the negatives in any situation. If  you use your logical brain to work through it and actually do the thing that is uncomfortable, the rewards are so worth it. You will feel accomplished–you set a goal and actually met it. You will feel pleased with yourself. You will feel amazing.

So think about something outside of your comfort zone that you are interested in doing, decide what you need to do to meet that goal, and then start working toward it. “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” Ships are for sailing on the ocean, not for sitting safe in harbor. You are made to enjoy your life, not sit on the sidelines and watching it flash before your eyes. Inch that toe outside your comfort zone and do something that you never thought you would. You will never be the same!

There are many things that you are, and if people don’t tell you, you should tell yourself. As difficult as that is, it will get easier. One of my favorites was from Dale Smith Thomas, a keynote speaker at a NALS conference a few years ago, who told us when we look in the mirror each morning, our first words should be “Good Morning, Gorgeous!” Trust me when I say the first time or two, you may giggle, but keep at it.

Remember that you need to be your biggest fan. You cannot depend on anyone else to tell you what you want–and need–to hear. Make a list of your greatest attributes (and there are some, so you better have a list!) and pick one to become your positive affirmation for that week and then cycle through them.

Remember that you are . . .

Smart
Beautiful
Friendly
Talented
Loyal
Funny
Thoughtful
Nice
Perfect
Strong
Unique
Wise
Loving

. . . Enough. You. Are. Enough. Believe that. And repeat it if necessary. You may not be Superwoman or Superman every single day. You may not be Employee of the Year every single day. You may not be Parent of the Year every single day. But you are enough.

Please watch this video and if it touches you, pass this post along to friends who need to be reminded that they are enough too – https://www.facebook.com/mysimplereminders/videos/1330678063632779/

There is one thing that is not at all difficult and makes a huge difference–being kind. Be aware of what’s going on around you, and the people around you, and what you could do to be kind. Can you give a smile to someone who needs one? Can you slow down and open the door for someone behind you? Can you help someone who is struggling with a load? Can you just be kind?

I saw this video on YouTube quite a while ago and rewatch it fairly frequently. I love the message–be kind without expecting anything in return and you will receive untold riches in return. By “riches” I don’t mean money, but riches in the form of the feels. Things that will make you smile and will do your heart good. My favorite part of the video is the other people who thought he was crazy for doing all he is doing. But his reward was worth it to him–and would be to me. So let’s go out and be nice without a motive!

Here’s the link to the video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJjZ4ZU5f-g

You’ve all heard the saying “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” And hopefully you’ve also heard the followup “It’s all small stuff.”

I have one word for that – TRUTH. Most of the things you’re worrying about right this minute seem huge and perhaps unsolvable right now, but you will see that they were neither. In the heat of the moment, it does seem like there is no answer to the problem and your whole world is going to come crashing down by the weight of whatever the problem is. But although it may happen, it truly rarely does.

We spend so much time and energy worrying over things that really, in the scheme of our entire lifetimes, are the “small stuff,” the meaningless things, the things that have a hand in helping us grow, but certainly don’t deserve the attention we are giving to them. I would much rather spend my time and energy on finding solutions to problems like where my group of best friends will take our 2019 vacation (because we’ve already figured it out until then), or what options I might have if I were ever to retire (which probably won’t happen – but I’m not worrying about it!), or what kind of gift to get my grandchildren when they graduate high school (because there are five of them right in a row and then a couple of stragglers).

You need to decide what deserves your attention–not your worry–and then focus it there. Quit worrying about the small stuff. It honestly doesn’t matter. Most of it won’t change your life enough one way or the other to matter. So worrying that you’re about out of laundry detergent and have 30 loads to finish in the next three days doesn’t do you any good. Focus your attention on figuring out when you can go out and get laundry soap (or order it from Amazon and have it there in 2 hours) and who can help you complete the laundry task. If no one can help, get your timer out and keep it moving. Easy peasy task done. Instead of worrying about it for three days, you have a plan of action you are working through.

Worry is a natural reaction when we start our mental list of everything going on in our world. When you start feeling that STOP and start writing things down. Get it out of your head–it is taking up valuable real estate there–and get it down on paper. Then if you need to prioritize it do that with different pen colors numbering items, different highlighter colors designating importance, or whatever way works best for you. I would suggest you NOT completely rewrite the list in order (I know you are out there thinking that!). Take a deep breath and try to organize your list another way or you’re adding another worry because you’re taking too much time on your list! It doesn’t have to be framable–it has to be functional.

So stop needless worrying. Think about the big picture. Does the thing you’re worrying about right now really, truly matter? Is it easily solved? Is it really even your worry or is it someone else’s worry that you’re getting sucked into? When you find yourself worrying about something, try to find a quiet place for a couple of minutes and have a conversation with yourself where you can determine if your energy needs to be spent worrying or if it is better spent figuring out how to solve the problem. And then go do that instead.

Trust me, life is far too short to spend so much time worrying about things that don’t matter–and most of our worries don’t. Like the song says “Don’t worry, be happy!”