The personality trait that I envy the most is the ability to talk to people you don’t know. I am missing–well I don’t think I’ve ever had–that trait. Watching people so easily talk to others always makes me wish I could. While I’m getting better, I’m still not there. Once I get to know you, you can’t shut me up, but if I don’t know you, I’m really quiet.

I’m not quite sure why I’m that way. Maybe because I think the person will think I’m stupid if I open my mouth. Maybe because I think I won’t have anything interesting to say to them. Maybe because I’m scared. Of what, I’m not sure, but I’m scared.

Start now. When you find yourself sitting next to someone you don’t know, strike up a conversation. All it usually takes is starting. If they are interested, there will be questions and conversation back and forth. When that happens, it makes me feel good. And I’ve gotten past my fear and have a new acquaintance who might possibly turn into a friend.

This irrational fear of mine I assume is shared by many. When I think about it logically, I know that talking to someone I don’t know is not going to kill me, I know I’m not stupid so I doubt they will think that, and I’ve lived (so far) an interesting and full life, so I’m sure I can find something interesting to say.

The thing that I notice most when watching others start talking to people they don’t know is that they ask interesting questions–once they get past the my name is, what do you do, etc. kinds of conversations. Things like “what is your favorite vacation spot?” “How long have you been here and where did you live before this?”

I know I can learn so much from other people that it’s just silly that it’s so hard for me. In our local professional association meetings, we ask an icebreaker question during introductions. I am amazed every month with answers I didn’t expect from people. Asking questions is a great way to learn about people. Imagine that!

Obviously I know I can do it and I know I have nothing to be afraid of, so I’m going to make a concerted effort to have conversations with new friends. What do you do to talk to new people? I’d love to hear what works!