I’ve seen often the poem about friends being here for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime. I’ve had the privilege to have all of those.

Sometimes there is something going on in your life when an angel in the form of a friend comes into your life. Once what you are going through is done, so are they and they disappear from your life.

Sometimes there is a period in your life when you need a certain kind of friend and they show up. Once you have moved on, so do they.

Then there are friends for a lifetime. While I’ve had many of these friends that I thought would be an important piece of my life forever, one or both of us have moved on. We haven’t completely left each other’s lives, and we remain important parts of each other’s lives, even though we don’t see each other often.

One of my favorite stories is when I happened to read a Sunday newspaper (which I very rarely do anymore) and saw the obituary of the mother of my best friend from junior high and high school. After graduation, I got married (she was my maid of honor) and then so did she and she moved away. I wrestled with whether to attend the funeral service or not. I’m practically an expert at talking myself out of things, but in the end, I decided it was important for me to go. I walked into the church and her brothers recognized me immediately. She was off to the side of the church getting herself together and praying before the service started. I touched her shoulder, she looked up and jumped up to hug me. Neither of us wanted to let go and she kept telling me she was so glad I was there. She kept saying
that me being there grounded her. All the pieces fell into place (reading a newspaper, talking myself into attending, and actually showing up) and that day I was her friend for a reason. We spend hours together that night and I was really happy that I made the right decision.

I am so lucky in my life right now to have many “lifetime” friends. They are all really important in my life and have had a hand in the person I am today. They make me laugh, listen when I complain, give me ideas for dealing with things that are bothering me, make me feel special, and teach me more about life than I ever thought possible.

But then so have all my other friends, whether for a reason or for a season. I feel like every person I have met and spent time with (even some Facebook friends that I have never physically met) have somehow had an impact on my life. Whether encouraging me to do something that scared me, giving me advice that I needed to hear (whether I thought so at the time or not), being there when I needed a shoulder, introducing me to concerts, vacations, plays, foods, and lots of other things I didn’t know enough about to know whether I would enjoy it or not, and who have made me a better mother, wife, and employee. Everyone you spend time with has an impact on your life–sometimes negative and sometimes positive.

Seek out those who have a positive impact on your life. There is enough negativity around without having it as a constant. You can easily tell the difference in how they make you feel when you spend time with them. Whether you can’t wait until the next time you get together or you are completely drained by what feels like an energy vampire, it is your choice. Make a good one!