Having been married for over 42 years, I understand how hard marriage is. But it is worth it!
It is far too easy these days to give up on marriage. Get tired of your spouse? Get a divorce. Can’t stand the way they spend money? Get a divorce. Have a big argument? Get a divorce.
Now I’m not stupid enough to realize that sometimes divorce is the best answer, but I don’t think some people give marriage enough of a chance. A successful marriage takes work. It means that sometimes you put up with some things you don’t particularly like, like when his idea of “cleaning the kitchen” is loading the dishwasher, but not wiping off counters or closing cabinet doors. It means sometimes you need to have a discussion about really important topics. It means sometimes you come up with creative solutions to hard problems (which is why we’ve had separate checking accounts for over 30 years). It means sometimes you do things you don’t really want to do because your spouse wants to do them.
It certainly hasn’t been roses and rainbows for 42 years, but we have had lows and we have had highs. I’ve actually been very lucky. He treats me like a queen and we own things and have had experiences I never thought we would because he works hard and likes those things too.
And no doubt about it, he’s pretty lucky too because I put up with some of his idiosyncrasies. But that’s what marriage is–it is loving deeply, being best friends, putting up with a whole lot of crap, and thoroughly enjoying life together.
I’m lucky because my husband and I are opposites–I love to travel, he hates it. I love to eat out, he has celiac disease and is highly restricted. I love socializing, he loves sitting on the back porch with a cigar. He is very easy going and lets me do what I love with friends while he does what he loves. We’ve come to the comfortable point in our lives where it doesn’t matter that we have separate interests, because we always come back together because we love each other and have chosen our marriage over anything else.
Yes, it is hard. Yes, it is worth it. Yes, it is something worth fighting for.